I am struggling financially and I am hiding it from my friends and family. Shame or guilt, maybe? I am not sure. I just have not been able to ask for help. I knew taking care of someone with a disability would require money and thus, add to my financial costs, but I was not aware of the extent to which the costs would go. For example, the cost of anything relating to healthcare has taken me for a ride. Medication, visits to specialists, not having adequate insurance…this I didn’t plan for adequately. After my child got to a certain age, the insurance company said they would have to remove my daughter from my health insurance. I pleaded and negotiated with them to change the age to a later one, which they did…but, she has now passed that age…and now I am trying to get her on an individual plan, which of course will cost me money. In the meantime, while I await health insurance, I have to contemplate bringing her to the doctor for a visit…the guilt of not being able to provide for her adequately is taking a toll on me.
To make things worse, over the last year, the cost of food, transportation, rent, etc. has become ridiculous. Many times, I wonder how we’re going to survive or just make it to the next month. Currently, I am surviving on credit cards and thus, drowning in debt. The job I have is constantly packing on more responsibilities, while not increasing the salary. I feel trapped.
I go nowhere…no vacations, no parties, no hanging out with friends…thus, that’s not where my money is going. All my money goes to bills. Sometimes, I feel so defeated. Sometimes, I feel like there is no way out of this debt…this burden. I wonder how I did not see this earlier and prepare better. Why did I not choose a better job? Why did I not handle my finances better when I was younger and thus, have savings and investments now? Why didn’t I choose a better partner?
I need help financially…I am seriously struggling…but nobody knows.
Caregiver: Jamie Country: Jamaica