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In a matter of weeks, my sister and I will be moving in together…and so it will be just us two. Sigh. I am so not ready to live with my sister. In all of my adult life, probably three out of those many years I got to live by myself and thus had a space that was solely mine. Mind you, during those three years I was still a caregiver. It’s not like I got those years to solely focus on myself BUT I got to “come up for air” so to speak. And now, that will all be taken away…and I am just not ready.

I Am So Not Ready

I haven’t gotten my life together as yet, especially in the financial arena. If I can just get my finances together…get to a point where I am financially free and not have to depend on a 9 to 5 job, then a lot of stress would be eliminated from my life. No, life wouldn’t be perfect but it would help a heck of a lot to not have to worry about money. Heck, if I could just get my finances together where I am at least out of debt (since financial freedom will take some time to achieve) before we have to move in together, that would be great.

But, I haven’t gotten on top of my finances, I am still in debt and now I will have even more financial responsibility having to live with my sister. Sigh. Sometimes, I daydream about what it would be like to not have a care in the world except for myself…not in a selfish, “I hate people” way…but in a way where I get to focus only on my goals and what I want out of life and get to pursue that without considering anybody else…you know, like the best case scenario of a young single person who does not have kids…what’s that life like? Sometimes, I just think to myself “When will it be my turn?”.

Caregiver: Alicia I-resent-my-sister Country: Jamaica

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    1. Dear Alicia,

      Thanks for sharing your personal thoughts with us. I am happy to hear that you have a stable job and are financially independent. Although reluctantly, you are offering to help your sister, who will be move in with you in a matter of weeks.

      It is great that you could help someone, especially, your dear sister. Think positively. Your sister and you are going to live together and there is going to have a lot of fun, cooking, eating, and exercising together. Much better than you do all these alone.

      Meanwhile, you could help your sister to improve and assist her to find a job so that she could be financially independent. If you work hard together, you two could achieve whatever you aim for.

      Gook luck with your efforts.



      1. Dear Anthony,

        I cannot express to you how much I sincerely appreciate your comment and the point of view that you have offered to me. The point you made about us exercising, cooking & having fun together has really got me thinking about what we can do together…of how being together can make us both better and just really what great things we can achieve together. 

        I am truly thankful for your drawing my attention to this perspective and so whenever I am feeling down I will try to think from this perspective and be encouraged.

        Thank you so much.


    2. Thank you for sharing ¨Confessions Of A Sibling – I Am So Not Ready to Live With My Sister¨ A good starting point would be to read this book ¨Ten Rules for Living with My Sister¨ by Ann. M. Martin.

      It is written from the point of view of Pearl, the youngest daughter in her family. Pearl is young and sweet, but there is nothing she enjoys more than torturing her older sister, Lexie. Lexie is everything Pearl wishes she could be – popular, pretty, smart, friendly and interesting. Ten rules for Living with my sister follows these two sisters throughout their crazy lives, where normality is rare and little acts of kindness go far.

      This book is nowhere near ¨an action packed adventure¨ or ¨a heart wrenching tragedy¨, but rather a light cheerful family tale that subtly and consistently analyzes human life and relationships in a way that rings true.Perhaps this is what the doctor ordered?

      1. Hi Enrique,

        Thank you for visiting HappyDowns & thank you so much for recommending a book that sounds like it will be very useful to my situation. I will definitely give it a read.

        Take care!

    3. This is exactly what I like about articles like this one. It brings awareness of stuff I wouldn’t have found otherwise. The article is lovely to the extent that I wish that’s not the end of the blog post. I will definitely revisit your site to check for more. This information is really very helpful for me. I will share this information with my friends. Thanks again.

      1. Hello Ola,

        Very happy that this post resonated with you so much and thrilled that you will be a regular visitor to our site.


    4. Hmmmm….. I have been following your blog for quite a while now , I can confidently tell you that your recent posts have been touching my heart. I really understand the plight of the guy, As a young man, you would want to ensure your financial balance  first before settling down with anybody. Because many responsibilities would be on your shoulder. Just do the needful and what is right and I believe things will work together for your good.

      1. Hello Michael,

        Thank you so much for your kind words. I am delighted that you’ve been following this blog and that the posts are really resonating with you. I too am holding on to the belief that all things will work together for good.


    5. I understand your concerns, I really do. We all at some time just want some “me” time. I looked after both Mum and Dad in their last few years and it was so, so hard. Between working, being a husband and a father I was also an (almost) full-time carer. I didn’t have a single minute to myself for months.

      What I did eventually do was find just a few minutes a day. Sometimes just 5 minutes a day to sit in peace, eyes closed, deep breathing and I found it so refreshing. Once I made the commitment to myself, I jealously protected that few minutes a day. It kept me sane through this tough period.

      I encourage you to find a few minutes a day for you. Hide somewhere in peace in quiet and take that time.

      Good luck

      1. Hello Ian,

        Your suggestion of prioritizing 5 minutes for myself sounds fantastic. I will definitely be trying this. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog post and thank you so much for going as far as making a practical suggestion that I can try…really appreciate it!


    6. Wow…. Your post these days are so touching and I can sincerely tell you I do learn from it. Because the scenarios you often review are true life events. I understand the fact that you need to get your life together especially in the financial arena, it shows you are a young woman with determination. Just keep doing the needful and never relent and see things falling in- line for you. 

      1. Hi Tunde,

        Thank you for visiting HappyDowns and for taking the time to read this blog post. I really appreciate your words of encouragement…thank you so much…I will continue to push through.

        Take care!

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