I am an older parent to a son who has Down’s Syndrome. I feel like all of my time and attention are consumed by my son, leaving my daughter, my husband and not to mention myself unattended to…basically ignored. Caring for my son is tiring and relentless. It’s tough now, but the future scares the heck out of me, as it will just become more and more difficult as my son and I both age.
When I see other older moms who are basking in the joy of spending time with their grandchildren…when I see these women talking about and looking forward to retirement…it’s like a punch in the gut, as it is a life that I will never have. And here comes the guilt…I feel like such a terrible person for wanting that life so badly…for wanting a “normal” life.
You’re supposed to raise your children to grow up and move out on their own and then you get to spoil your grandchildren. But that will not happen for me. How can I have energy to even look at my grandkids, when all my energy is spent taking care of my own child? This just breaks my heart…and I know it breaks my daughter’s heart too, as there have been times when my husband and I just had to tell her “No” when it came to doing certain things with her and her family. My daughter has been understanding but I know she’s hurt.
I love my son to the moon and back, but I am old and I am just so tired.
Caregiver: Jane Country: Canada